Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Raihan's guide to surviving a night /afternoon/day ALONE at home :D
1.Establish a nest inside the big nest. Find a room that preferably has everything (food,tv,internet access, laptop, airconditioning etc) so that you wont have to go anywhere, even if it's only the room next door, to get something you need. In my case, it'll be the family den. I've got a whole season of Big Bang Theory and the laptop and that's all i really need to survive.
2. In the unfortunate event that the aforementioned Big Bang Theory box set happens to be EMPTY, its contents probably in your sister's room UPSTAIRS, resort to watching dodgy, predictable Spanish soap operas on RTB. yes, this is happpening. why rtb you might ask?because I forgot to switch on the Astro thingy UPSTAIRS, and flashes of scenes from various horror movies playing in my paranoid mind are really convincing me to stay put in my nest.
3. Even though the clock only says 3 in the afternoon, and it's still bright daylight outside, pull the curtains close and switch on all available light sources in the nest. I've switched on the huge hanging chandelier, the wall sconces and the tiny bulbs on the ceiling thingy. The nest is so bright, you'd need shades to survive. It doesn't stop there, I also have within reaching distance, TWO massive torchlights, to keep me alive and aware of psychos lurking in the dark, in the event of a blackout.
4.Whatever song you have playing on your iTunes, (This Providence, in my case) keep it playing at maximum volume, to drown out any other noise. Including the aforementioned Spanish soap opera. Totally boring, btw. Although the guy's kinda hot. Then again, they're always hot. :p I used to love soap operas, when they were original and full of drama. No, just the drama bit. They're never really original. They almost always have an illegitimate child hiding in the story plot somewhere. Or someone who came back from the dead and got facial surgery to hide their true identity. And a really bitchy Julie Cooper type.
5. If you have a weak bladder and need to nip to the loo every five seconds, choose a nest that has an adjoining bathroom. Otherwise, enjoy sitting with your legs crossed for the rest of the night. Damnit, I think I have a leg cramp now, why'd I have to drink so much?!
6. Have a radio somewhere in the house with the Islamic channel on, and keep it on all day. You are not, under any circumstances, to switch it off or lower the volume. Even when the neighbour next door starts staring. Get back to your gardening, Mrs Nosy Next Door!
7.Ooooooh! The Spanish soap opera has an illegitimate child! Told you. Oh damnit, why did I even watch this thing! It's going to be the fifth-grade Rosalinda phase all over again.
8.Do not open the door or windows under any circumstances. Even if you hear something and your curiosity is killing you, STAY PUT. Haven't you learned anything from the numerous babysitter-alone-at-home movies? Psycho killer will do anything to enter the house.
9. I know there aren't any psycho killers in the tiny suburban village I live in, people yes, killers not yet. Anything can happen. There was this one time, this babysitter working at this isolated house got weird phone calls from a psychotic stalker/killer. For real. Oh wait, that was When A Stranger Calls, but still, same diff.
Call me paranoid, call me crazy, I'm just one really bored girl stuck at home. Bear with me, why don't you. See, this is what happens when you don't let kids get their drivers' license at 16. Yes, you people it's time to change the law. :p The only places within walking distance are houses, more houses and the kadai you-know-what, waaaaay at the other end of the road. Eventually, they are reduced to putting up crazy blog posts, imagining psychotic killers outside the door and guessing the ending to Spanish soap operas.
I need to pee.
R
1.Establish a nest inside the big nest. Find a room that preferably has everything (food,tv,internet access, laptop, airconditioning etc) so that you wont have to go anywhere, even if it's only the room next door, to get something you need. In my case, it'll be the family den. I've got a whole season of Big Bang Theory and the laptop and that's all i really need to survive.
2. In the unfortunate event that the aforementioned Big Bang Theory box set happens to be EMPTY, its contents probably in your sister's room UPSTAIRS, resort to watching dodgy, predictable Spanish soap operas on RTB. yes, this is happpening. why rtb you might ask?because I forgot to switch on the Astro thingy UPSTAIRS, and flashes of scenes from various horror movies playing in my paranoid mind are really convincing me to stay put in my nest.
3. Even though the clock only says 3 in the afternoon, and it's still bright daylight outside, pull the curtains close and switch on all available light sources in the nest. I've switched on the huge hanging chandelier, the wall sconces and the tiny bulbs on the ceiling thingy. The nest is so bright, you'd need shades to survive. It doesn't stop there, I also have within reaching distance, TWO massive torchlights, to keep me alive and aware of psychos lurking in the dark, in the event of a blackout.
4.Whatever song you have playing on your iTunes, (This Providence, in my case) keep it playing at maximum volume, to drown out any other noise. Including the aforementioned Spanish soap opera. Totally boring, btw. Although the guy's kinda hot. Then again, they're always hot. :p I used to love soap operas, when they were original and full of drama. No, just the drama bit. They're never really original. They almost always have an illegitimate child hiding in the story plot somewhere. Or someone who came back from the dead and got facial surgery to hide their true identity. And a really bitchy Julie Cooper type.
5. If you have a weak bladder and need to nip to the loo every five seconds, choose a nest that has an adjoining bathroom. Otherwise, enjoy sitting with your legs crossed for the rest of the night. Damnit, I think I have a leg cramp now, why'd I have to drink so much?!
6. Have a radio somewhere in the house with the Islamic channel on, and keep it on all day. You are not, under any circumstances, to switch it off or lower the volume. Even when the neighbour next door starts staring. Get back to your gardening, Mrs Nosy Next Door!
7.Ooooooh! The Spanish soap opera has an illegitimate child! Told you. Oh damnit, why did I even watch this thing! It's going to be the fifth-grade Rosalinda phase all over again.
8.Do not open the door or windows under any circumstances. Even if you hear something and your curiosity is killing you, STAY PUT. Haven't you learned anything from the numerous babysitter-alone-at-home movies? Psycho killer will do anything to enter the house.
9. I know there aren't any psycho killers in the tiny suburban village I live in, people yes, killers not yet. Anything can happen. There was this one time, this babysitter working at this isolated house got weird phone calls from a psychotic stalker/killer. For real. Oh wait, that was When A Stranger Calls, but still, same diff.
Call me paranoid, call me crazy, I'm just one really bored girl stuck at home. Bear with me, why don't you. See, this is what happens when you don't let kids get their drivers' license at 16. Yes, you people it's time to change the law. :p The only places within walking distance are houses, more houses and the kadai you-know-what, waaaaay at the other end of the road. Eventually, they are reduced to putting up crazy blog posts, imagining psychotic killers outside the door and guessing the ending to Spanish soap operas.
I need to pee.
R
what we could have been, 2:34 AM.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
So I was grabbing my dinner from the wet kitchen and from the corner of my eye, I could see a blur of white, shifting against the window pane...
It was Ugly, the white stray cat that comes around to our house like we're Goodwill. I call her Ugly not because she is physically so; in fact, she is quite a beauty, as far as strays are concerned. But her name is made necessary for the fact that she is an accomplished flirt! She just loves to drive the male strays wild, from her seductive body licks to the way she primly eats the handouts we... hand out. HAHA.
As usual, I was pretending not to notice her puppy-dog face (kitty-cat face, perhaps?) or as we Malays love to call -- "muka sepuluh sen." I was about to turn away when I noticed a tiny and I do mean, tiny cat perched next to her, looking so frail and weak my heart actually hurt! So I asked our Indonesian helper, 2T (no kidding, that's her name) who the little thing belonged to. 2T said that she is the product of Miss Ugly and the black male cat that was at the time, running in circles around Ugly, shoving his genitals everywhere. Gross, dude.
2T: Ia ia! Itu kan anak dia *points to ugly* baru jua di kasih lahir.
Kilah: Bagi lah makanan! Kesian. Tapi jangan bagi ia *points to Ugly*
2T: Ia! Nanti anti kasih sudah habis makan.
I can't believe Ugly, man. If you have no decent job or a decent place of shelter or proper healthcare, you should never keep your legs uncrossed. This is what happens! Teenage pregnancies on the rise and the offsprings are the ones suffering! Talur si Ugly ani. The sperm donor (aka black genital cat) looks like a deadbeat! Who's going to take care of the baby then? Ugly might have to give her up for adoption. I would gladly take the baby on. I think I even found a name. K3JW. It stands for Kucing 3 Jenis Warna. Because she has like three splotches of colours on her tiny furry body. SO CUTE. I asked my mom as she is the one who makes the final decisions on who gets to live in our house. She said I can keep K3JW outside only. :( I think I'll take it. I shudder to think how K3JW's life would be at the whims of Ugly and her multiple boyfriends...
Okay, I'm really bored alright? But this is not mere fiction. I did not fabricate this! It really did happen. Although I have no substantial proof of Ugly's promiscuity. Fret not! I shall not rest until I have uncovered the truth!
Please still love me! HAHA
It was Ugly, the white stray cat that comes around to our house like we're Goodwill. I call her Ugly not because she is physically so; in fact, she is quite a beauty, as far as strays are concerned. But her name is made necessary for the fact that she is an accomplished flirt! She just loves to drive the male strays wild, from her seductive body licks to the way she primly eats the handouts we... hand out. HAHA.
As usual, I was pretending not to notice her puppy-dog face (kitty-cat face, perhaps?) or as we Malays love to call -- "muka sepuluh sen." I was about to turn away when I noticed a tiny and I do mean, tiny cat perched next to her, looking so frail and weak my heart actually hurt! So I asked our Indonesian helper, 2T (no kidding, that's her name) who the little thing belonged to. 2T said that she is the product of Miss Ugly and the black male cat that was at the time, running in circles around Ugly, shoving his genitals everywhere. Gross, dude.
2T: Ia ia! Itu kan anak dia *points to ugly* baru jua di kasih lahir.
Kilah: Bagi lah makanan! Kesian. Tapi jangan bagi ia *points to Ugly*
2T: Ia! Nanti anti kasih sudah habis makan.
I can't believe Ugly, man. If you have no decent job or a decent place of shelter or proper healthcare, you should never keep your legs uncrossed. This is what happens! Teenage pregnancies on the rise and the offsprings are the ones suffering! Talur si Ugly ani. The sperm donor (aka black genital cat) looks like a deadbeat! Who's going to take care of the baby then? Ugly might have to give her up for adoption. I would gladly take the baby on. I think I even found a name. K3JW. It stands for Kucing 3 Jenis Warna. Because she has like three splotches of colours on her tiny furry body. SO CUTE. I asked my mom as she is the one who makes the final decisions on who gets to live in our house. She said I can keep K3JW outside only. :( I think I'll take it. I shudder to think how K3JW's life would be at the whims of Ugly and her multiple boyfriends...
Okay, I'm really bored alright? But this is not mere fiction. I did not fabricate this! It really did happen. Although I have no substantial proof of Ugly's promiscuity. Fret not! I shall not rest until I have uncovered the truth!
Please still love me! HAHA
what we could have been, 3:48 AM.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Have you ever pictured yourself being in someone else's shoes? Okay scratch that, it sounds too boring. Let's say, picture yourself being at a place where every single thing that makes yourself who you are is appreciated, and everything you do is nothing less than the best. Then there are people around you who are thankful to have you around.
I'm not saying I want people to kiss the very ground I walk on, but to have a simple ''I'm proud of you,'', every now and then might suffice. But then again, maybe some people just aren't that good at expressing their feelings via words, but couldn't you at least try? It might come out in a rush of nonsensical blubber and clumsy stammer, but it wouldn't kill you to try. Would it?
I guess all of this doesn't make any sense to anyone who's reading it, but who knows, maybe you're going through the same thing. :) Somewhere in LA, a ''Real Housewives of Orange County'' type of mother probably wishes her outrageously tanned, Prada-clad, airhead of a daughter would actually pass some of her classes. Would actually be able to put 2 + 2 together and won't go 'OMG' when she learns that Pride and Prejudice came from a book, as opposed to the Keira Knightley movie version she thought it originated from. But alas, that's another world altogether.
This world, the one I'm in, demands so much more. Everything's not good enough and I'm supposedly never trying my best. Come home with an A and they say ''get an A+ next time,''. How do they know if I'm not trying my best? Do I have 'delinquent' stamped across my forehead? Do I fail terribly in all my classes? Perhaps this is the best I can do, and if I can be frank, i don't think it's that bad.
Oh god, whatevs. Don't go ruining your holiday mood reading this depressing entry. Don't worry, I'm not about to go slit my wrist with my nail trimmer, the only slightly sharp object within close proximity. It's just the pressure of the exams, I guess. Nothing a huge tub of ice cream and a good hour of retail therapy, followed by some ear-splitting karaoke session can't cure. :D
p.s. staggering amount of H1N1 cases and it's only getting worse. i'm so freaked out i practically snack on vitamin c and wash my hands every ten seconds. i sooooo don't want to get back to school. germs everywhere! :s
see you guys soon!
R
I'm not saying I want people to kiss the very ground I walk on, but to have a simple ''I'm proud of you,'', every now and then might suffice. But then again, maybe some people just aren't that good at expressing their feelings via words, but couldn't you at least try? It might come out in a rush of nonsensical blubber and clumsy stammer, but it wouldn't kill you to try. Would it?
I guess all of this doesn't make any sense to anyone who's reading it, but who knows, maybe you're going through the same thing. :) Somewhere in LA, a ''Real Housewives of Orange County'' type of mother probably wishes her outrageously tanned, Prada-clad, airhead of a daughter would actually pass some of her classes. Would actually be able to put 2 + 2 together and won't go 'OMG' when she learns that Pride and Prejudice came from a book, as opposed to the Keira Knightley movie version she thought it originated from. But alas, that's another world altogether.
This world, the one I'm in, demands so much more. Everything's not good enough and I'm supposedly never trying my best. Come home with an A and they say ''get an A+ next time,''. How do they know if I'm not trying my best? Do I have 'delinquent' stamped across my forehead? Do I fail terribly in all my classes? Perhaps this is the best I can do, and if I can be frank, i don't think it's that bad.
Oh god, whatevs. Don't go ruining your holiday mood reading this depressing entry. Don't worry, I'm not about to go slit my wrist with my nail trimmer, the only slightly sharp object within close proximity. It's just the pressure of the exams, I guess. Nothing a huge tub of ice cream and a good hour of retail therapy, followed by some ear-splitting karaoke session can't cure. :D
p.s. staggering amount of H1N1 cases and it's only getting worse. i'm so freaked out i practically snack on vitamin c and wash my hands every ten seconds. i sooooo don't want to get back to school. germs everywhere! :s
see you guys soon!
R
what we could have been, 6:07 AM.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I'm in a swirling vortex of confusion. Wouldn't it just be absolutely fantastic if I could get one of those red pills from the Matrix? Only the pills would be the key to the end of my mental mess, and not waking up to reality =/
A very confused Akiki.
A very confused Akiki.
what we could have been, 11:51 PM.
LOL! Guys sorry I've been posting videos here, today I just wanna share this video "Wash Your Hand H1N1 song" hahaha.
Anyways, enjoy~!
Hani
what we could have been, 7:43 AM.